Honesty

I just did level 1 of Jillian's Shred for the first time in I don't remember how long. Probably last summer! And I have to admit that Anita was NOT "carrying me through it"...she was kicking my butt!

Anyway, what I remembered (after about the first three minutes) is how very much I do not like working out. Jess, I am so not you. :) I don't like sweating, I don't like hurting, and I don't like giving up even half an hour of precious time to sweat and hurt.

Two years ago I did this consistently because I was really unhappy with myself and my body. I hadn't yet found an eating pattern that worked, and I wasn't taking an antidepressant either. Now I do feel good about my eating, and the meds have taken away the anxiety that was driving most of my life.

I have this thought that it would be nice to lose 10 lbs, but honestly I no longer find it super compelling. (This is a FANTASTIC place for me to be!)

I also have a thought that it would be a good idea to stay in shape so that I'll be more healthy as I get older (Jess, you've written about that before) and that is more intellectually compelling but tends to lack force in the midst of day to day life.

I don't really have any insights or conclusions right now. I'd love to hear your thoughts, exercise buddies. :)