to Katie P., mostly

First, a practical suggestion - if you need or want it later - regarding swaddling and heat. When our son was a baby, we were in an unairconditioned, very, very hot house (like, hotter inside than out), and we'd put him to sleep in a hammock Adam hung from the studs. It cuddled 'round him (like a swaddle blanket), but since it was mesh, it let air in on all sides. And I could rock him in it, so he fell asleep.

Since your husband was a tropical MK too, I assume you have a hammock lying around somewhere. :)

Then, regarding LASIK, the reason I feel so confident doing it is that I watched my mom and sister go through it, and it was just wonderful for them. I'm going to the same doctor, and he's done over 20,000 surgeries, and several hundred of them were other eye doctors - so I figure he knows what he's doing. That helps me feel very optimistic about it. I'll be glad to let you know how it goes!

Finally, I realized recently that I was avoiding working on my novel, because I was afraid that if I really worked on it, I'd fall back in the trap (old, old trap for me) of thinking that I'm worth what I do. It was so frustrating to keep finding myself balking at working on it, but when I finally figured out why I was balking, it was so freeing, because I was free both to walk around the trap, and to start writing again, only this time with prayer, asking God to help me do it with a right heart, because it was my work and not my self. It was so strange, though, to find out that the reason I'd been unable to do this good thing was because I had been veering towards doing it for a bad reason. And such a relief that once I saw that I was doing it for the wrong reason, I realized that I could still do the good thing, I just had to do it differently, and with a lot more prayer, holding it open in front of our Father.

So, I just wanted to say, I appreciate so much hearing about what you're learning about your relationship with food and finding freedom by recognizing what's going on. Thank you so much for sharing that.