discouraged

Ran 4 miles today. It's been awhile. I did a 5 mile run when I first came to CO and between getting sick and the altitude/dryness, hadn't managed to do more than a 2 mile run since. So it was nice today to do a decent run. I was starting to freak out and think that I'd get all out of shape and would have to take weeks to work back into my routine again. But doing the run today reassured me that I'm doing okay.

However, I am starting to get really bloated and am feeling fat (even though I logically know I am doing fine). But I'm feeling discouraged. I know a lot of it is out of my control. About mid-cycle, I always get bloated and I have very little control over my diet now as I am a guest at someone's house, and so I am just not going to feel as healthy. But it is just starting to get me down and not having Jesse around certainly isn't helping. It has taken me since February to lose 8 pounds, and I fear that I am going to gain 5 pounds on this trip and will be back where I began 5 months ago. I know that I am probably overreacting, but I just wish I had control over something in my life right now and I just don't. My kids are really missing Jesse now too, and I am struggling to be brave and strong for them so that they can be comforted. But I want to be comforted too!!!! Ah, well. Just 2 1/2 weeks left. Just....

Please pray for me now, as it is very tempting to turn to unhealthy food for comfort (and energy bursts) at this time. That and it is everywhere to tempt me. Chips, brownies, etc. It is hard to continually practice discipline when the temptation is right there.