Spent almost 3 hours walking around the county fair today. Also did 30 Day Shred, Level 3.
I realized partway through (as I was experiencing the desire to just TURN IT OFF AND SHUT UP JILLIAN SHUT UP) that for me, it wasn't a question between doing it and not doing it; it was a question between doing it and living in a body that COULDN'T do it. And again, I was struck by the privilege of living in a body that was capable of doing it, of having that choice. I don't think I had thoughts like these that often before my hospitalization. Sometimes, but not often. Now I think a lot about privileges like living in a healthy body and living with my loved ones. I didn't for awhile, and now I do, and probably someday (God forbid, but He might not) I won't again.
And then, I think further, and I think, "but it's not like those, once lost here, are lost forever." Because, isn't that the promise of heaven? Living in a body that finally works right, and living forever in the presence of both our loved ones and our Loved One? All that is lost will be found. But for now I'm glad that not all is lost.
-Jess
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