Inspiring Cuteness

Jess - LOVE IT!! That was hilarious! That poor girl - not only the horrible choker, but... hello?? what was going on with her pants? Were they camo? Or were they shreds of fabric pinned together? And yes, I think if you can't get that move that it is not a terrible thing, as the move was pretty funny :) BUT I think it looks like a great workout, and a really fun way to get some good exercise! Thanks for sharing :)

My hip is better. I am really glad I didn't run on it yesterday - I think that day of rest was just what it needed. It's good for me to write that out and see it (and to have experienced it), because I can tend to drive myself too hard, not believing that rest does any significant good (I take after my dad in that sense - can be a good thing to be so persevering, but it can get out of appropriate bounds real fast). But it's clear to me that resting yesterday did help. I didn't succeed very much at massaging throughout the day - partly because when I tried in the morning I never really found the right spot, and partly because the later part of the day was spent out of the house. The other thing I want to remember in the future is using a heating pad! I finally remembered this before going to bed, and I really believe that's a big reason I feel better today.

So today I debated giving my knots another day of no exercise to work themselves out or not, but opted to go ahead and go for a run, since my hip didn't really bother me most of the day yesterday, and the knots themselves weren't feeling too bad today. I'm glad I did - at this point, nothing hurts from it. I stretched pretty well afterwards (which I'm usually terrible at doing), and massaged my back more. I did crunches (but no push-ups, just in case).

Here is a shot of one of my motivations to get out for a run. This little girl LOVES riding in the stroller. She's usually silently fascinated the whole time, and if I pause at a stoplight and peek in at her, she barely even looks at me because she's so "in the zone" gazing at all her surroundings. I love it.



(not sure why the picture looks so bad - if you click on it, the larger version is much clearer)

I give myself a B for how eating went yesterday. I didn't have any major setbacks, but in the evening I just kind of fuzzed (don't ask me for a precise definition of that word). Part of it was, the snack I chose in the afternoon ended up being quite a bit more filling than I expected, and I wasn't hungry for dinner (which is always a bummer for me - I love eating dinner as a family). And then, I'd tried a new recipe for dinner and not only did Daniel not like it, but I didn't like it! :( One little "loss" I am grieving with letting go of eating a bit more is that when a meal is disappointing, it bothers me more than it used to. It's like I make the effort to not indulge in snacks or nibbles and "save it up" for being hungry for my meal, and when the meal "lets me down," boy is that disappointing! (I'm sorry if this is kind of silly, but it helps me to try and sort all of this out here.) One thing I want to try and consciously do differently in the future if this happens, is to consider not finishing my meal. Last night I finished it anyway, but then felt very dissatisfied even though full. And, more than that, I felt mad! Mad that the meal didn't turn out, and then mad also because now I'm full of food I did not enjoy. This led to nibbling later on in the evening, as if to "make up for my loss" of a good satisfying meal by eating more (which, for the record, does not work). Instead, one obvious option for next time, would be to finish the meal but be more intentional about brushing my teeth or something afterwards and just waiting for the next meal or next time I'm hungry to eat. Or another idea would be to try stopping mid-meal and eating something else, or doing something else with the food. (For example, last night it was an Indian-style meatloaf with curry and a tahini sauce. The meatloaf itself was fine, but there was way too much tahini on top and I didn't like it. So I could probably scrape off the sauce and make a meatloaf sandwich with BBQ sauce or something that would be much more satisfying.)

Another reason for the "B" is that I didn't drink enough yesterday (largely due to being out and about).

One major victory was that I stopped at a place I love to pick up lunch (it's far away and I only go there once a month when I meet with my spiritual director, who is right up the street from it), but didn't eat past full! (which is not easy for me to do at this place) I just kept the rest in the box and had some for a snack later in the day. That's a big deal for me! I also noticed how it wasn't as extraordinary of an effort as it sometimes has been in the past to do that, which is encouraging to me.

Another thing I want to remember that I did today is eating a nice, full, satisfying breakfast (or any meal). If I eat a really good solid meal, I am about 98% less likely to snack between meals, and the amount of food I eat in a day (while still feeling satisfied) is significantly less. Sometimes I just grab something that I know isn't a full breakfast, instead of taking an extra 2 minutes to put together a complete meal, but it's like giving myself an excuse to just graze all morning because I am "finishing breakfast" (this isn't a good direction for me to go personally).

Em - I talked to Daniel about the chiropractor and he said sure! However, I'm guessing that I ought to go in when I'm in pain, right? Not after the fact? Since my hip is feeling better, should I just wait til the next time something goes wrong, or should I go in before that, even if I'm not in pain, just to make sure things are right?

Long Post from Katie P

Uh, so I didn't get to reading and responding yesterday as I was needed in Mommy form. Hopefully I'll be able to do that tonight.

Exercise: Ran 2 mi this morning, plus crunches and pushups (I'm back up to 2 sets - 15 and 17, non-girl pushups). Got a short nap.

Eating: Continues to amaze me, this feeling of freedom. It is going so well that I am hesitant to even write about it, out of a faint superstitious belief that it will "all fall apart" if I talk about it out loud. I am almost in disbelief at how often a tall, cold glass of ice water is actually what I needed, when I would have *sworn* 5 minutes before that I was feeling tired because FOOD would be the only thing that would help me! It is also funny to me how quickly that whole big glass of water can be suddenly empty again - I am thirstier than I realized I guess. I find myself feeling surprised that I don't need to eat as much in a day as I thought I did, though I am still figuring out how much I need. I've tried "eating intuitively" before, and this time I am finding that a tad more structure than I used to use helps me - I am eating at mealtimes (rather than completely ignoring the clock and eating whenever hungry), and I'm starting with just a normal meal-sized portion (rather than going bite by bite to see how hungry/full I am).

The latest bend in the road is that today I began to feel a bit unsure about hunger and full. I ate a snack around 4pm (I found at the end of last week that I usually need this in order to get me through to dinner, or else I get too hungry). Then I met up with Daniel at a street market, where we got food. I ordered a tamale that was too small, so went back and ordered 2 more after I ate the first one. After eating the 2nd one, I felt good to go, but I wasn't sure if I should eat the 3rd one. The last two nights, I've felt quite hungry right before bed, so I ate the 3rd one thinking it might help me avoid that. But then I felt full. Then I got home and felt dissatisfied. Was I hungry? Was I just worried? Augh!! Now that I write it out, I think I just got too worried about it all. My stomach can stretch for this reason, and it's ok if sometimes I eat a bit too much, and other times don't eat quite enough. It's not the end of the world, and I shouldn't get so focused on every twinge I feel. I want to build a pattern I can sustain over the long haul, and that has to be flexible. So I'm going to look at tonight as a flex. Those nights I went to bed hungry were fine, and tonight I don't think I'll go to bed hungry and that's probably fine too.


Jess - Thanks for your suggestion about the hammock! I think you'd mentioned that to me before and I'd forgotten it. We actually don't have any string hammocks, only cloth ones, but thankfully the a/c is still working fine (plus it hasn't been quite as hot) so swaddling has been fine.

Thanks also for what you shared about re: beliefs about your writing. Yes it is so freeing to see the trap and then be able to walk around it! It's funny: just yesterday while getting my hair cut, a lady made the off-hand comment, "Don't you just wish you were a baby again - no worries, no responsibilities." (not totally random - Naomi was sitting there :) ) And while on the one hand I totally get this and agree, still more of me feels like, "There is no way in heck I'd like to be a baby again!" Partly because it would mean going through childhood and adolescence all over again, and all that drama, and I'm so glad I don't have to relive high school! :) But partly because maturity is really great and I enjoy it! This being able to see a belief and walk around it is one of those abilities gained through time and experience that I would be very sorry to lose, just for the sake of having less responsibility! No thanks!

I'm so glad your surgery went so well! I think superpower is a great word for it :) It gave me a new and deeper awe of Jesus, going around simply touching eyes and bringing sight, just reading what you wrote - I can't imagine what it must be like for you! It's so funny how connected all our body parts are, that lifting weights can put more strain on the eyes! Makes sense, but interesting. Hearing yet another positive report of Lasik tips my "thinking about it" scale just a bit more... maybe someday I'll do it. I have to admit that one negative thing in my brain is how freaked out I think I would be at having to keep my eyes open during the procedure. Was that a big deal for you? or not?

Amie - Thank you so much for the update on Julie. I'm so sorry she is still in ICU and not getting to cuddle her little one, but so thankful she is still alive! Is her life still at risk, or is it now a matter of salvaging the functioning of as many organs as possible? Your time in MT and your upcoming camping sound crazy to me, but I hope you enjoy it! :) I love Montana - Daniel's brother has lived there for about 6 years, and we've spent a few weeks there before. It's beautiful.

Katie - I smiled when I read your comment about CA homes not having A/C - that IS the nice thing about places like TX or other hot places... because of the incredible heat, they have a/c in every home! Good for you for adapting so that you can still work out, even while you can't get outside. And what a great feeling to see how much stronger you've become (with the Prevention DVD)!

I definitely HATE working out in the evenings. Not only am I more tired physically, but mentally I am winding down for the day and working out isn't exactly relaxing or fun in my mind. I like to work out first thing in the morning because it gets it out of the way, honestly. I think it also boosts me up, and I feel good about the fact that I exercised, which gets me more pumped for the day. Also I love mornings (always smells fresh, cool air, etc) so when I'm exercising outside I enjoy being out in the early morning. But I think your idea about doing workouts during naptime to help yourself with depression feelings and the pull of eating might be a great solution.

Emily - So glad karate is going well, and that you are not pushing yourself to do more. In terms of overall health (including body AND heart/soul/mind), it sounds like you are really nailing it by managing your stress and not trying to do too much.

That's hilarious about "Women at Large"! ha!

Great point about your lack of internet being a blessing because it kept you from "checking out" - I'm glad you mentioned that. I always find that when I give up Internet for a bit, I feel so much better! And yet it always sucks me back in. It's so much like me and sugar, now that I think about it! I feel so much better when I'm not eating sweets (which for me translates into eating them rarely - as opposed to never - but in my head I have to think of it as, "I don't eat sweets," or else I will get sucked into eating them waaaay too often and too much :) ). However, while life without sweets is workable for me, I just don't think life without Internet would work in my home... :) (But I can't put all the blame on my programming husband - I don't want to give it up either!) But it is something for me to think about.

Okay, I just read that your blender broke - WOOHOO!!!!!! :) :) I can't WAIT to come see your Vitamix!! :) :) Ok, now I read the rest of your entry and realized that you aren't sure if you're going to get it. In some ways I don't want to give advice because I don't know your specific financial situation, so maybe it is not a good idea for you guys to get it. But if you're asking for general, fairly uninformed input, I would say get it! I hope this isn't faulty or ungodly reasoning, but I don't think that spending money on pleasurable things is wrong. It can be just as sinful to be fastidious about something as it is to gorge yourself on it - pleasure is meant to be enjoyed but not glorified, and it can be glorified when we attach ourselves too tightly to it and require it, as well as when we focus too much on restricting or forbidding it. My thinking is: this blender will last you for the rest of your life (or a super long time at least), and I am sure you will not only get many many enjoyable "moments" from it, enjoying a smoothie or something else, but also you will be nourishing your family both in body and spirit - those green smoothies are great for them, and I bet they really enjoy them too. So I think it's an investment that is worth it. But again, I don't know your financial situation, and obviously there are plenty of things that should come before pleasure - a family needs food, babies need diapers, you need a car and gas in it, etc. But if there isn't a real, tangible expense or debt that would keep you from buying this, but rather it is just a fear of spending a lot of money on something you will enjoy, I say spit in the face of the temptation to idolize frugality and buy the Vitamix and enjoy it every time you use it!

(...um... hope that was not too strong. I just read a discussion on Facebook about how Christians should not wear shorts to church if they love God and I think it got me a little too fired up when I came to thinking about your Vitamix. So take what I said with a grain of salt. :) )

Yolanda - I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to go through as much transition as it sounds like you have recently gone through (in your academic and family life). That's a lot to swallow and digest and jump into (sorry for mixing my metaphors there, but they all seem appropriate). Good for you for determining to start again, with taking care of your body. You're right about the fact that you and your family will all be glad you did. I think in terms of my own inspiration, once I get in a routine, sticking with the routine just keeps me rolling, but when I get OUT of a routine and need to start again, I have been motivated in the past by looking at a picture of myself from a healthier time. But what's worked more effectively I think is just knowing it's taking me to a place I'd rather be, regardless of what I feel like now, because for me so much of being successful at staying fit and healthy is just doing it, whether I feel like it or not, and this attitude keys into that. I don't know how helpful that will be, but it's what's true for me. Other ideas for motivation: get some gear you enjoy (clothes or shoes or a headband) - it's actually gotten me out of bed in the morning because I was eager to wear my new swimsuit for swimming laps! Or give yourself some treat for working out - maybe a once a week dessert treat, or a luxurious bath or maybe a smaller daily treat. I know of someone who bought small sizes of a really expensive body wash and hair products that she loved but she put them in her gym bag and only let herself use them after she'd worked out as her treat.

Responses

oh my gosh Amie! I just caught up on Julie's situation and it makes my heart ache. i am so sorry and am praying now - please keep us posted! wow.

Your bike looks great - I'd love to be able to bike around town again, though I'm not sure if I'd be able to do local errands with a baby on board due to the kind of roads/bike lanes we have in our area. Right now walks work for lots of errands (which is great!), but I do miss biking to further spots. So much faster! :)

Emily - I'm so sorry you had such a rotten day Thursday. Like Jess, I can't imagine doing what you are doing right now with the remodel going on, and definitely understand your need to take a break (though I too will miss you on here!) Your bag is lovely!

Kelly, Christa, Yolanda - I miss you guys! Hope you're all doing well even if you're not exercising or not posting or whatever. No pressure, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.




One other thought - a response to myself I guess. :) I just remembered something I did when training for a Half Ironman before - I made up little maps on Google maps and would track my mileage over the course of several months from point A to point B, pretending I was on a trek (even though I was really just running/biking/swimming the same routes around my house). So I biked across the US, ran most of the way up the CA coast and swam partway around the island of Sulawesi. It would take me a lot longer to do anything now that I'm only running 6 miles a week, but it might be fun to pick a shorter route online and track it.

Motivation

Just got done with the shower after a 2-miler and the sit-ups and push-ups. I am still hanging with being able to do 2x20 push-ups and 4x25 sit-ups. Right shoulder felt a bit strained or something today in final set of push-ups (?). Will keep an eye on it.

Monday - Shred Wkt 2 (first day); walked 1 mile w/ baby on back and groceries on return

Sunday - 2-mi run, no stroller. 2x20 p's, 4x25 s's

Saturday - rest, after a night of little sleep

Friday - Shred Wkt 1 (switched w/ Sat's wkt for time reasons)

Thursday - Shred Wkt 1

This weekend Daniel was out of state shooting a wedding. I've always struggled when he's gone overnight, even before we had a baby (it triggers some of my issues), but this was the first time he was away since Naomi was born. Since I've had some emotional meltdowns since she was born, I was pretty nervous about being a single parent for 3 days (even though things have been pretty good for the last month and a half or so). So I went and stayed with my family in San Diego, and even though there were some stresses this caused in itself, I am really glad I did it, just as a safety net for his first time away. I got horrible sleep (he's usually on night duty for pacifier, since I have trouble getting back to sleep), but we made it through and I am so glad he was able to go do what he loves for a few days. (Plus these last 2 nights of sleep have been GREAT!)

On a different subject, I am struggling with motivation. I know I said before that my current motivation is not to lose weight but just to get and stay fit and to try different forms of exercise. Well, that motivation's power is waning. Like it or not, I'm finding that now that I'm about 6 weeks into regular exercise, I honestly feel disappointed at not seeing greater results (I saw and felt some early on in June, but nothing more since then). I'm not all that frustrated with how my body looks or my weight, in and of itself, but I guess I feel like, "If I'm going to be putting in this effort that I'm putting in each day to work out, I deserve to see some change!" If I weren't working out, I think I would not feel discouraged about my body because I wouldn't be expecting to see change. Yolanda, I guess that is sort of what you posted about a couple weeks ago.

I know that I am not trying to modify my diet at all - just eat healthily, try to generally eat when hungry and stop when full, and deal with emotional eating when it crops up. In the past diet is usually what I need to modify if I am going to lose weight - I can exercise and stay at the same weight for forever. I didn't have post-baby weight to lose, I'm just where I started... but that is about 10 pounds more than the weight I like to be at, even if this weight is healthy for me. I do enjoy getting out and being active - the runs are nice, in a way - but it's very DEmotivating to me to still look (in my opinion) like I did 6 weeks ago. So it's like the motivation of just feeling good is shaky under the weight of my discouragement. Also, I'm not sure I want to tinker with my diet, because of the things I've mentioned before - I can get on a weight loss roller coaster but have trouble maintaining and would like to just maintain now, only I'm struggling with being content at this weight.

I'm wondering if I need to just keep doing it but focus elsewhere on other things in my life that bring me joy. I'm not one to really give up on exercise (I can keep eking it out), it's just not necessarily fun or motivating.

Habits can be great things

Just did Day 7 of Workout 3. Tough again, though mentally I think it's a hair easier now that I'm in a habit of doing it. I have to say, that is the "result" I find most precious out of this 30-day shred: it is changing the overall rhythm and direction of my daily life. Building the habit of making myself do something unpleasant like that, first thing, (followed by making myself head straight for the shower, which makes it really easy to just get dressed and ready for the day) just makes it easier the rest of the day to keep the house straightened up, pick up the toys when Naomi goes down for a nap (even though she'll just get them all out again in a couple hours), put that onesie to soak rather than just let it sit on the changing table, etc. It has also been helping me to think about doing chores because I want them done and feel better when they are done, rather than because I am afraid I will be an inadequate mother if I don't do them, or because I am afraid of what people would think if they came to my house and found it messy. So not letting fear be my motivator, but giving myself space to find another motivation that is already there. This seems to make chores much less exhausting, I guess because it eliminates the internal kerfuffle the fear causes. Those are some of my demons, and it's neat to see them less and less.

Christa - YAYYY! That is good news indeed! Honestly, I believe that perseverance is the key to seeing change happen, not necessarily blowing it out of the water from day one. I think the fact that you are still working out is huge.

Day 4 of Workout 3

I guess a boring title is better than no title.

Workout was great today - each day seems to get a bit better. Today I did a little bit more... now I'm doing all the walking planks off of my knees, all the side plank raises in the harder position, and I did 7 mtn climbers in a row before I did 2 step-touches, rather than 5 in a row. Yay! I really felt it (again). Boy do I hate plank position!! Gr. But I know that the discomfort and difficulty is part of why it is giving me noticeable results in strength, energy and appearance.

One thing I have noticed in the last week or two is that my baby tummy is a little flatter. That is something that has really been motivating me lately! I never had a horrible post-partum pooch, but there was always just a rounded look to it that I could never get rid of, and now it is flattening out a bit. I honestly didn't really think that would ever happen. Yolanda - that's interesting that you've seen such great results with your waist trimmer! Neat. I used a belt of sorts for the first few weeks post-partum, which helped quite a bit, but I've never tried running with something like that.

Another positive that I noticed today is that I feel like I am getting into a bit of a routine that I like, unlike my old routine which I didn't like. I feed Naomi when she first wakes up, change her, and then do my workout as soon as I can - sometimes this is while she's still awake, sometimes other things come up and my first chance is once she's down for her 9(ish) a.m. nap. As soon as I'm done with the workout, I make myself get in the shower. That shower decision seems to be important for me - the rest of the morning goes much better if I can do that, rather than sit down to eat breakfast at my computer (which just sucks me in). Funny how sometimes one tiny moment of decision can spin you into an entirely different direction.

I'm also noticing that this has been a very good week for me emotionally. We'll see how the rest of the month unfolds (ie. hormones, etc).

Now if I could work on the whole pee thing... I really miss being able to do jumping jacks or other bouncing things without wetting myself! :( I half-heartedly tried to keep doing some Kegels after birth, but I just hate those things and they didn't really seem to help at all.

Emily - I smiled when I read your "OWW". I hope that doesn't sound heartless - I personally feel somewhat pleased when I'm sore, and I hope you feel gratified too - it shows you are really doing something to get stronger! (assuming it was the right kind of "ow") Congratulations on being able to remodel your kitchen!! That is exciting and I look forward to seeing the finished product. Did you take "before" pictures? We were really glad we had ours later. The "during" process can be super hard though - if you ever need to vent, let me know. We did ours pre-baby, but sheesh... I remember the frustration! And I'd love to lend you the blender. I'm not sure if I'll be able to bring it by today, but might be able to either tomorrow or Sat. If not, I'll bring it Sunday (or you are welcome to come by if you like). And ohmygoodness, if I were you I would SO HOPE MY KITCHENAID WOULD BREAK! :) :)

Naomi is making really cute noises over the monitor, so I know the nap is over - got to go.

more chatting!

Katie, welcome! I envy you the stationary bike - reading while you work out sounds splendid!

And welcome, Christa! I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry Dan's having a hard time; I'll be praying for him. I hope your routine, um, routinizes again soon. So . . . how much of a habit do you have to get into for it to count as enough of a habit to buy weights? :)  If you get there, the cheapest place I've found simple 5 lbs. weights is Walmart, or, strangely enough, Marshalls. It's weird, but they often have lots of random fitness equipment there.

Kelly, good for you on the pushups! I know the arms are a lot of it, but I find they're really good for the back and abs too.  I'd have to differ from you on arms - I really like how cut arms look - but you're right about the legs making most of the difference when it comes to lifting heavy things (a must with little kids - you have to lift them and their stuff!).

Emily and Amie, I really like Rodney Yee for yoga. He's my preferred Sunday workout, when I work out on Sundays, because doing yoga with his dvd just feels so good. I reviewed my favorite dvd of his on my blog, and talked a bit about the spiritual side of yoga, and how I handle it as a Christian.

Emily, about weight loss . . . well, there's about a 5 lbs. window I like staying in, and if I'm above it, then exercise is for weight loss for me. Otherwise it's for maintenance, health and function. <-- By "function" I mean "keeping my body fit enough that it'll be able to do whatever I ask it to". I know that not everyone has that option in this fallen world, and since I don't have a disability, I want to show my gratitude for that by taking care of what I have. I'm expecting to get old and/or sick at some point, and become unable to do with my body what I can do now, and now, while I can, I want to be a good steward of my body.

<-- I don't think I put that quite right. But I haven't finished my coffee yet. :) Does anyone feel similarly and have a better way of putting it? What I just wrote feels incomplete, and somehow a little off.

Maybe because I left out the honest fact that I just love how it feels to have a fit, strong body. There's a strong element of pleasure in exercise, for me.

(On weight loss - I admit to being curious about what it'd feel like to be 10 lbs. lighter. And if what I'm doing gets me there, great! If not though, I'm fine with that. I don't care enough about it to do more than I'm doing now!)

On injuries - aside from the pregnancy-related stuff (which pretty much disappears if I'm working out properly and regularly), I have a knee that doesn't like running more than a mile or two and an ankle that doesn't like swimming laps. The ankle is the weird one - it's only swimming that bothers it. I think it's that full extension of the joint with pressure put on it while it's extended. It is, I think, a left-over from a pole vault injury (I missed the pit once), but it might also be helped along by the fact that I have hyper-flexible feet. 

So, swimming and running aren't good options for me, at least not any great distances.

Hi. I don't know if I'll post regularly, but my 30-Day shred arrived in the mail this week. Earlier this week I emailed Jess to thank her for the recommendation from her blog. I wrote:

I've been hemming and hawing about what to do about exercise. Even the cost of a gym membership to the YMCA with financial assistance might be a stretch for us right now--even though they have free babysitting, which has gotten positive reviews from other friends here. I thought about doing a DVD but wasn't sure I could motivate myself to jump around like a cheerleader and feel silly in my living room for 60 mins. So, I checked out your 30 Day Shred recommendation on Amazon and watched the free clip. It looked feasible. I too like weights. It didn't look like it would take a lot of coordination like all those 80's aerobics videos. So, I bit the bullet and bought it. I just finished the first workout and love it. It's just the right amount of everything. It's not too complicated, and I love the fact that it's only 20 mins! I like her pep talks, too. Hopefully I can make a habit of it. Anyhow, that's a long way of saying thanks!

My motivation for exercise: feeling alive, having energy, making the knot in my back go away, removing the slump my shoulders get from nursing, and loosing some weight.

I've done one workout. I used soup cans for weights, promising myself that I will buy some weights if I can actually make a habit of doing the DVD. I was comfortably sore after completing the workout. My second workout was supposed to be today, but I read my child a book and baked banana bread instead--we were hosting playgroup. I really need to create a new morning routine to make this work. It is more difficult to create one right now since my husband is not functioning normally; he recently realized that he has anxiety issues . . . which is why I have a knot in my back.

Right now, I'm going to go eat something because I'm still nursing.